you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
