careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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