bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
