let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
