there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
