butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
