Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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