I just saw a hot homeless man
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
