just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
