why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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