Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
