It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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