they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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