I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
