Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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