I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
