Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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