I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
