I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
