I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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