a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
