First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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