i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
