So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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