We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
