Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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