I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
