Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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