Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
