scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
