You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
