My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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