If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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