he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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