try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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