You really coming over, don't trick.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
