You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
