Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
