k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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