Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Two words: nipple clamps
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