Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
