Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
