found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
