I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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