If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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