The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
