another moral hangover. fuck.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
