That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
