I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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