I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
